Selected Answers From Interviews
interviews are online and in-person.
the in-person interview process could be two questions to twenty questions, and can range from twenty minutes to two hours depending on the person and how much they want to share. these interviews are recorded, so that I may be emotionally present with participants. If you are interested in being interviewed in-person, please contact me.
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here is a selection of answers from some of these interviews.
if your cancer (or high risk/gene) was an object, what would it be? Describe it as much as you can.
"It would be a gloomy haze that envelopes me that never leaves." - Trina
"Like every drop of water on earth. Heavy. Powerful. Destructive. Eroding. Its a heavy weight, theres a ton of pressure, and it wears away at you. And you know that one day, it will take you. But theres also the flip side of it. All the good you can see if you choose to look. It can be peaceful. Freeing. Cleansing. Life giving. You learn to take in small moments, and that makes them more powerful and enriching. Nothing good lasts forever. So I enjoy the now. There's a dichotomy that you experience in new ways each day, embracing it all is what makes life an adventure." - Laura
"Continuing with the marked for life feeling, I would call it a branding iron. Heavy, hot, causing permanent damage." - Jennifer
"Before surgery, it was a box I was trapped in with the air slowly being sucked out and the walls creeping in slower to crush me. After surgery, it's like a tattoo. It's there forever, but it can't hurt me." - Claire
"An Anchor." - Erin
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"Dark, with a solid core but with an increasingly open structure as it expands outwards. At the core is my fear and the worst-case scenarios, and outward are hope and the positives of risk-based knowledge and proactive medical decisions." - Lucy
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"A shadow that clings to me no matter where I go. It shifts and changes shape, sometimes small and faint, other times it’s larger than me, looming over everything I do. It’s not something I can outrun, even on the brightest days." – Mei
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"A ticking bomb. You don’t know when it will go off, but you can hear it. Every doctor’s appointment, every scan, every random ache or pain makes the ticking louder. It’s exhausting to live with that constant sound in your head." – Vanessa
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"A mirror with cracks running through it. It still reflects parts of me, but everything is distorted, fragmented. I see pieces of myself that will never go back to how they were, and I have to learn to live with those cracks as part of who I am now." – Luisa
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"A weightless balloon tied to a string." – Rachel
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"It’s like rust. It starts small, creeping in places you don’t even notice at first. Slowly, it eats away at the structure of your life—your plans, your body, your relationships. Even when you think you’ve stopped it, you can’t undo the damage." – Nyasha
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"A snake coiled tightly around my chest. Some days, it’s just there, a dull pressure that I can ignore. Other days, it squeezes so hard I can’t breathe. I never know when it’s going to strike, and that’s the part that terrifies me the most." – Danielle
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"A locked door." – Fatima
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"An invasive vine." – Emily
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"A storm cloud. You can feel it building, dark and charged, even on days when the sun is shining. You don’t know when it will break or how bad the storm will be, but you know it’s coming, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it." – Priya
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"A bruise that never heals. It’s tender and painful, and even the lightest touch sends waves of hurt through you. No matter how much time passes, it’s always there, a constant reminder of what’s happened and what could still come." – Carmen
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"A candle burning at both ends. It provides light and hope, but I can feel it consuming me from all sides, getting smaller and smaller as time runs out." – Sofia
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"A pair of shoes filled with broken glass. You’re forced to keep walking, every step cutting you deeper, but there’s no option to take them off. You just hope one day you’ll grow numb to the pain." – Yvette
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"A wall of mirrors." – Melissa
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"A tangled ball of yarn. It’s messy and impossible to unravel." – Amina
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"A cactus in a desert. I’m trying to survive, but everything feels dry and endless." – Akari
how has the experience of breast cancer affected you?
"In every way imaginable. I think mostly its shown me what I value most in this life. Its also given me the opportunity to give myself permission to slow down and take it all in. I know I can confidently say I would not be the person I am today without it all."
-Aiden
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"It’s like it broke me open and forced me to see everything in my life more clearly. What mattered, what didn’t, who mattered, who didn’t. It’s been painful, but in a strange way, it’s given me a sense of clarity that I never had before. I don’t take things for granted anymore—not even the hard days." – Elena
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"I’ve become hyperaware of my body, like it’s something separate from me now. Every ache, every bump, every change—I feel like I’m on high alert all the time. It’s exhausting. But it’s also made me appreciate what my body has carried me through. I’m learning to thank it, even when I feel betrayed by it." – Kendra
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"I’ve stopped worrying about what other people think of me. When you’ve stared your own mortality in the face, the idea of trying to impress someone seems ridiculous. I dress how I want, I say what I want, and I’ve never felt more like myself. Cancer took a lot from me, but it also gave me permission to stop apologizing for who I am." – Anika
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"It’s made me feel so out of place, like I don’t fit into the world the way I used to. People my age are building careers, having kids, going on adventures, and I’m stuck in this loop of doctors’ appointments and recovery. It’s isolating. But I’m trying to find my own rhythm, my own way of being in the world, even if it doesn’t look like everyone else’s." – Lourdes
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"I feel like my world has gotten both bigger and smaller. Bigger because I’ve met people who I never would have connected with otherwise, people who really understand what it’s like. But smaller because I’ve had to let go of so much—dreams, plans, even people who couldn’t handle the reality of what I’m going through. It’s a strange balance." – Zuri
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"It’s made me braver than I ever thought I could be. I used to avoid conflict, avoid hard conversations, avoid anything that felt too risky. Now I just go for it. Life feels too short to hold back anymore. I don’t want to waste another minute." – Leila
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"I feel simultaneously stronger and more fragile than I ever though I would. Stronger because I have survived so much--a sum total of seven surgeries and chemo in less than fifteen months. With two small kids. Working full time. Publishing two books. Getting tenure (I am a professor). That all has made me feel like a rock star. But I also feel vulnerable, fragile. The cancer could come back at any time. I feel this way even though I've removed the parts of my body that BRCA1 targets. I feel incredibly mortal. I take pause before I get on a plane, before I kiss my kids or my husband and leave for work for the day. It's a paradox. I feel both stronger and weaker. I think this may have (also) given me some wisdom, although I'm not sure I appropriately wield that wisdom. Perhaps with time, the perspective I've gained will change my outlook on life." - Jessica
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"I feel my mortality in ways I never did before. I worry for myself and my children. Sometimes I feel scared. But, in general, when I think about how I self-identify now, it's more about being different ("marked") from others in the population."
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-Brenna, on having a high risk
What advice would you give someone who is about to have a genetic test, or just found out they had breast cancer?
"Seek others like you. Also, TELL people. Be open, frank, honest. Cancer is everywhere, but we talk so little about it. Share with others, so they can be supportive of you."
- Katherine
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"Don’t rush to process it all at once. Take things one step at a time—one appointment, one conversation, one decision. It’s okay if you feel lost or scared. You’re not supposed to have all the answers right away. Give yourself grace." – Nadia
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"It’s okay to grieve. Even if it feels strange to mourn something like your genes or your body. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel—anger, sadness, fear. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should process this. It’s your journey." – Esme
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"Ask as many questions as you need to, even if you feel like you’re being annoying. This is your body, your health, and your future. No question is too small or too stupid. Advocate for yourself every step of the way." – Ayanna
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"Build your team. Doctors, nurses, counselors, family, friends, people who’ve been through this before—surround yourself with people who will support you and fight for you. You don’t have to do this alone." – Lucia
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"If you’re getting a genetic test, remember that it’s just information. It doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t determine what will happen. It’s a tool to help you make decisions, nothing more. Take it one step at a time." – Aisha
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"Focus on what you can control. There will be a lot of things that feel out of your hands, but look for the small things that are within your power. It could be something as simple as choosing a playlist for your appointments or planning something fun afterward to look forward to." – Hana
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"Be kind to yourself. You’re going to have days where you feel strong and days where you feel like you’re falling apart. Both are okay. Listen to your body and your emotions, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it." – Marisol
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"Document everything. Bring a notebook, keep a folder, save your questions, and ask for copies of test results and notes. It feels overwhelming at first, but being organized will make you feel more in control as things progress." – Elise
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"Find a counselor or therapist who understands cancer or genetic testing. There’s so much mental and emotional weight to this, and you don’t have to carry it alone. Therapy can help you navigate all the feelings that come with this process." – Tiana
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"Don’t Google everything. The internet can be helpful, but it can also send you into a panic. Stick to trusted medical resources, and ask your doctors to clarify anything you don’t understand. The internet doesn’t know your specific situation." – Farah
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"Celebrate the small wins. Got through a hard appointment? Celebrate. Asked a hard question? Celebrate. Found a doctor you trust? Celebrate. This process is a marathon, not a sprint, and those small victories will keep you going." – Simone
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"Take your time to decide what’s best for you. Whether it’s surgery, treatment, or anything else, don’t let anyone rush you into making a decision. This is your life, your body, your choice." – Leilani
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"Deep breathe and you need to realize how incredibly strong and brave you are. Go in feeling empowered and bad-ass that you are taking care of you!!" - Araceli
"Take a friend or family member with you to appointments. It can be a really overwhelming experience to listen to doctors and next steps. You might not be able to absorb what they are telling you. Ask that person to take notes. And questions will come up after these appointments when you least expect it - keep a notebook by your bed so you can joy things down. Chemo brain is real!" - Carla